Update, April 15: Patch 8 is here! My mah was a Little Of, but it’s Still a Dozy, with Around 16,753 Words Backing up the ream of updates to laarian’s triumphant rpg. Original Story Follows.
Patch 8 of Baldur’s Gate 3 Releses Tomorrow, April 15. And While i’m Already Schenting to Build My Gang of Build-Broken Nightmare People to Tackle Honour Mode with for a Second Time, I’m Also Wondering How I Going to Break It to My Friends, Family, and Lover One that they will not see me for the Next Two Weeks.
Maybe Three, Actually, Since Larian Boss Swen Vincke’s Assertion After the Announcement Last Week that Patch 8 of Baldur’s Gate 3 Has, UH, A LOT Of notes to get Throw. Vincke Writes on x: “I just read the 48 page of Patch Notes on this. If there was a michelin guide to patches, I’m give this one 3 stars.”
48 Pages is a LOT. Howver, if you go on any of the patch notes on the Larian Website, you’ll Notice that they are awarded ( So How Big is Patch 8, RealLY? Well, I spent a not-insignificant amount of my work Day Copying and Past Patch Notes Into Google Doks to Craft a Rough Guestimate.
In 11 -Point Arial Text on an A4 Document with Google Doc’s Default of 2.54 CM MARGINS, Larian’s Average Patch Notes Are Around 500 Words A Pages. This is where i’ve passed the same uniformed, Stripped of Bullet Points and Sundry that would like me Estimate of 400 Words.
I will after that Baldur’s Gate 3’s Patch 8 Notes Will Have a Rough, Approximate, Kitchen-NAP LENGTH Word Count of Around 19,000 to 20,000. Give or Take.
Out of Curiosity, I Deched to Go Ahead and Share My Word-Count Finds from the Other Patch Notes for Comparison’s Sake. Keep in Mind, Some of these Patches Have Lengthy Pre-Aamles Explaining Certain Features or Giveing ​​Status Updates, While Onters Don’t:
- Patch 1: 16,542 Words.
- Patch 2: 4,016 Words.
- Patch 3: 23,576 (!) Words.
- Patch 4: 19,473 Words.
- Patch 5: 6,731 Words.
- Patch 6: 18,548 Words.
- Patch 7: 18,153 Words.
If My Calculations are Accurate, this is action pootially Make Patch 8 The Second Biggest (Based on Raw Word Count) Patch the Game’s Received, Whiche … Entirely Tracks, if I’m Being Honest. While others Patches Have Added Major New Features, Patch 8 Will Be Giveing ​​Us 12 Entirely New Subclasses, and that’ll Need a Lot of Explaining.
Mind, Given The Patch Itelf is Coming Out After Larian Deched Hey, What’s One More Major Update, Just for Good Luck? I would’t be shredd if Father Vincke Has Stuffed Some Extra Presents InTO OR Stockings With a Twinkle in his Eye.